Thursday, January 30, 2014

So sleepy!


Mayhem and Charlie's tails curled up together!
They are both so happy to have me home...
It sparked an impromptu truce! (On her side. Charlie has always wanted to snuggle with her!)


I've been sleeping off and on since I dared the ice and snow to get home. I won't lie, sleeping on the floor sucked big time. I'm so sore today that it feels like someone has been hitting me with one of those meat tenderizers. But I was safe and fed.

Tonight I went through my pantry to see what we need from the store, and dropped a granola bar. Charlie picked it up, gave it to me and sat to receive praise. I was so excited!! He's slowly "getting it". If I had more one on one time, I know he would understand faster. He likes food rewards, but I've discovered his favorite is vocal praise and snuggles. How ironic that God would give me a dog so similar to myself in that regard?! I love to eat, but I'd die without affirmations from my loved ones.

My biggest terror is the thought of getting in a horrible accident and the people I love's last memory of me NOT being me telling them how much they mean to me, or hearing I love them. I've always needed that extra boost of "you are loved/awesome/etc.". My whole life. Even though I know I've always been wanted and loved by my family that hunger is there. 

Charlie seems to have a hunger for praise and love too.

And he is such a smart dog! He's already helping me get around better. The fetching and giving it to me is a HUGE help! It seems like such a small thing to those that don't know, but every time I move even a little bit, it causes a fluxuation in my pain level. When I am completely still, it's like a geyser...slowly simmering. When I move, PHFFFSHHHH!!! Geyser goes off and pain flares. So Charlie bending keeps me from squatting to get it, and he brings it to my hand so I don't have to reach for it.

He's also different than me:
He potties outside on command when I get too cold and/or impatient. That in and of itself impresses me. Me? I can't use public fascilities if I think someone can hear me.

He has spontaneous joy. He is still so much a puppy, and can find fun or make it without much of any encouragement. Me? No. I plan and have back up plans for my back up plans. My spontaneity died a long time ago! He joy is so contagious! He makes me laugh. I think he is probably doing wonders for my mental health.

Anyway, I do apologize for the absence of posting here lately. I'm still getting back in the swing of things and to a healthy mindset, and then sleeping away from home, on the floor, worried about everyone? Not good physically or emotionally, but the weather is clearing up and to quote "Annie", the sun'll come out tomorrow!

Love, peace and chicken grease,
-Beth

2 comments:

  1. I do not know why this did not load when I was looking at your blog earlier. This is the first I have seen it. I am so impressed with Charlie!! I look forward to a time I can meet him in person, not just on Skype. He is doing a great job Beth! Don't let anyone tell you any different!

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  2. Thank you. I always compare him to Pepper and Splash in my mind, and he doesn't measure up in smarts, but he's got a great heart and really wants to please people. I keep reminding myself that he's a puppy, even though he's huge - and he has plenty of time to learn and grow. I wish you could meet him. I know he would love you!

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