The end of May 2015

Charlie is doing pretty well. We've had a few hiccups this past week. One, he had a nail to split vertically again, so we had to make a fast trip to the groomer. Apparently it hurt quite a bit, because he tried to nip Mr. Jon. He really does have the best groomer though - Mr. Jon turned off the nail trimmer and said calmly "Charlie, you do not nip. No bite. I love you. Give me your paw." and Charlie covered his face in kisses and obeyed. (I was still mortified!) Mr. Jon said it was really unlike him, and that he knew Charlie was hurting.

Friday we went to get my mom's car out of the shop, and another customer had their small dog in their lap. Charlie acted as if he had never seen another dog before, and like he hasn't spent the past two years on training his special skills. I backed out of the door with him as soon as we had walked in, and made him lay in down stay until he reset. I ended up dislocating my wrist really badly and that put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. It's still pretty tender to the touch.

Yesterday Charlie and I had to get some groceries. He performed perfectly as if Friday had never happened. (I guess even service dogs have bad days.) One of our favorite cashiers at Publix insisted we come into his lane - the ten items or less lane - even though I had a regular cart. He swapped out his sign for a regular one and had a bag boy load up the stuff onto the belt for me. It was such a relief. I usually hate accepting help, but my wrist was still hurting and it was really nice to be able to actually see the stuff ring up on the screen. Usually I'm doing my best to put everything up on the belt fast enough for them to ring it up. We got help loading the car too - and I think the teenage girl that helped us was super professional and polite. I took Charlie off duty and had him in a down stay in the back seat. I asked her if she'd like to pet him, because he was off duty now and she gave him a kiss on his forehead! I love publix. Good people and plenty of support for me.

My unemployment has come to an end, and I'm still in the initial stages of trying to get disability. I'm really worried about it. I've been trying hard to fight for my best mental health in the meantime, but I'm really fighting with all I've got right now.

I've knit a few things this month, which for me is an accomplishment! My most recent finished project is a shawl. The pattern is the Stormcloud Shawlette by Hanna Breetz, available on ravelry.com for free.

Get it done!

Today is my first working day fully unemployed. No side job, no temp work, no nothin'.

It was great!

Charlie and I had to meet a representative from MetLife to talk about my options, and I had to file unemployment, so we made a day of it! He did so well at MetLife! The secretary was really kind and a little bit curious, but not in any way nosy! We had to wait a good 20 minutes, because the client before our appointment was a little long winded. Charlie wanted to sniff the people who kept coming and going, but with quiet commands, he did flawlessly. There was a woman around my age that was scared of him, so I repositioned him to hide behind my chair and face away, and she went by with a little "eep!" noise. He easily slid back into place under my legs, and then when we met the agent, he remained in down stay even though I forgot to tell him.

We spent a little over an hour with Charlie under the conference table.

(Helping and making momma proud!)

I figured out an easy way to stay connected when my hands are busy - my legs are like lead weights, so looping the handle of his leash over the toe of my boot was really handy, and although he was staying anyway, it was a visual cue to the agent that I was still in control even though it looked like I was ignoring him. The agent was curious, but very respectful. He asked "what breed is he", and "has he been a help to you since you got him - I mean, compared to life before him?". It was nice to reflect on the change my life has been through, without the heavy details. Also, Charlie has a soft toy to play with, but he decided to hover over it the whole time instead. Poor baby has learned not to vocally complain about having to lay on a floor without bedding, but he hates it!

After MetLife, we picked up a free lunch (courtesy of my former coworker's generosity in the form of a Tropical Smoothie gift card). There was a huge gaggle of teenage girls getting their lunch orders in before going back to school, so we had a long wait. He did really well, and when my lunch was ready, he toted it to the car for me. With a cane in one hand, and his bridge handle in the other, it's such a blessing that he thinks carrying something is a game! We went to the library and parked near their field for an impromptu picnic!

I keep his all weather blanket in the trunk, and their grass was so neatly maintained that my "business" walker had no trouble rolling through it. We sat in front of our car, but facing the trees and nearby sheep. It was so restful with the breeze and gentle sunlight! I think I found a very willing picnic partner in him! ;)

After lunching, we put everything back in the car together, and then I moved the car to the front of the library so we didn't have to walk so far. Inside, we were helped to a computer next to a big window, and Charlie cat napped while I took care of other important "I have no job now" business. When I was done, we browsed through their book sale, and I scored 4 paperback novels for a dollar. When we walked to the front desk to pay for it, another library user ambushed us and said "I just HAD to come see this pretty baby, I have retriev-"(then she tried to get all handsy) "please don't touch us!", I said quickly while trying to open my wallet to get out the dollar I needed. "Oh, no, it's fine! I have retrievers and I just love dogs!" I put my wallet down, turned square to look at her and said in a normal tone (which is loud for a library) "No, it's not fine. I asked you not to touch us." While I said it, I moved my hand from supporting me to block her touching so she ended up petting my hand instead. She looked 15 shades of upset and offended, and the library worker said, "ma'am, do you need any help from me?", which prompted Ms. Handsy to turn a bright color, snap her mouth shut, and walk away. A THOUSAND Angel hugs to the library man for that, Lord!

 I was really tired, and I know Charlie was trying so hard to be good, but it's hard for him to know what that means when a human shakes up what he's expecting from them. As far as he's concerned, me and my family are the only ones that pay attention to him, we keep all the new and strangeness safe and in control, and then a random happy person tries to convince him he's off duty and it's playtime. It really confuses him, and he has to be "reset" after incidents like that, which is super annoying, because that means a stranger has stolen time and energy from me for the sake of their selfish need to pet a random stranger they never even expected to encounter. I know I have to by firm but polite, because we might be the only service dog team someone meets, but I really didn't want to deal with it today, so I decided not to educate her on how to interact with us - I just let her be "butthurt" and walk away.

(Ok, I know bathroom selfies are the worst, but look at his cute widdle flipped back ear!!!)

After the disruption from the stranger, I decided he had worked hard enough, so I took him off duty for our long car ride home. He played with a toy the whole way, tossing it into the back window and getting it, then growling and repeating. So I thought "it's 2 o'clock, mom said the dog park will be deserted....", and I surprised him by pulling in. It was the first time Charlie and I had been since the last post about it, for which I feel shame. He had a blast! We only stayed half an hour, but the place was practically ours for the duration. He ran like his tail was on fire, and actually brought me the ball. He usually ignores me in the park! I brought my walker with us, so I was able to rest a little while he partied hard.

After running around like crazy, he walked in perfect heel beside my walker, for a very slow walk to cool down a little. He licked the little statue of a soldier, so I sat down and took a quick picture. :)

Now here we are, 4 hours later, he in his ratty quilt and I in my jimjams, peacefully resting. It's such a worry off me to know I don't have to dread tomorrow morning. I don't have to plan out how to ration my little bit of energy. I have no reason to force myself to hurry and be some place on time. I can wake up when my body is rested. I can wait to get dressed until my hands wake up. That right there is a huge relief to know I don't have to force my hands to do something! Imagine wearing mittens, wrapped in barbed wire....and having to put on your bra, or socks and shoes. ::le sigh:: 

Oh, tomorrow promises to be sweet.