Saturday, August 8, 2015

November 2014 to today

Disability denied. Apparently I'm fully qualified to be a unicorn groomer, hogwarts express train conductor, or sea monkey circus coordinator. 

I will not lie, I am down. I am tired of fighting and I am lacking hope.

I have amazing friends that are trying hard to be encouraging and supportive, which I appreciate. I love you all.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

The end of May 2015

Charlie is doing pretty well. We've had a few hiccups this past week. One, he had a nail to split vertically again, so we had to make a fast trip to the groomer. Apparently it hurt quite a bit, because he tried to nip Mr. Jon. He really does have the best groomer though - Mr. Jon turned off the nail trimmer and said calmly "Charlie, you do not nip. No bite. I love you. Give me your paw." and Charlie covered his face in kisses and obeyed. (I was still mortified!) Mr. Jon said it was really unlike him, and that he knew Charlie was hurting.

Friday we went to get my mom's car out of the shop, and another customer had their small dog in their lap. Charlie acted as if he had never seen another dog before, and like he hasn't spent the past two years on training his special skills. I backed out of the door with him as soon as we had walked in, and made him lay in down stay until he reset. I ended up dislocating my wrist really badly and that put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. It's still pretty tender to the touch.

Yesterday Charlie and I had to get some groceries. He performed perfectly as if Friday had never happened. (I guess even service dogs have bad days.) One of our favorite cashiers at Publix insisted we come into his lane - the ten items or less lane - even though I had a regular cart. He swapped out his sign for a regular one and had a bag boy load up the stuff onto the belt for me. It was such a relief. I usually hate accepting help, but my wrist was still hurting and it was really nice to be able to actually see the stuff ring up on the screen. Usually I'm doing my best to put everything up on the belt fast enough for them to ring it up. We got help loading the car too - and I think the teenage girl that helped us was super professional and polite. I took Charlie off duty and had him in a down stay in the back seat. I asked her if she'd like to pet him, because he was off duty now and she gave him a kiss on his forehead! I love publix. Good people and plenty of support for me.

My unemployment has come to an end, and I'm still in the initial stages of trying to get disability. I'm really worried about it. I've been trying hard to fight for my best mental health in the meantime, but I'm really fighting with all I've got right now.

I've knit a few things this month, which for me is an accomplishment! My most recent finished project is a shawl. The pattern is the Stormcloud Shawlette by Hanna Breetz, available on for free.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The hermit lifestyle

I have been hiding out. I went to stitches south, we returned on Sunday afternoon and then I didn't leave the apartment except to go to knit group on Thursday morning. I ran to the local grocery shop on Sunday morning. I haven't gone to church or visited anyone. I haven't wanted to.

Charlie is itching for interaction. He's done a lot around the apartment lately. Yesterday he got a bath. He usually hates water, but I think he wanted a bath. Poor baby has been so itchy with that winter fur shedding.

My roses have bloomed. I've already cut three off to put in vases, and now two more are ready for that.

I finished my beekeepers quilt throw blanket. Mayhem loves it.

That's me at stitches south, we brought both walkers so my mom would also have somewhere to rest when I had to stop. We stayed in the fiddlers inn, which as it turns out was really familiar to my mom....because she watches "hotel impossible". We ended up watching episode nine of season one while staying there. :) that will be a fun memory to look back on for a good long while.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

"Flash your stash" 2015

So there's this thing on Ravelry where you take a picture of all your yarn collection and show it off. I figured I'd join in, as its a good excuse to empty the closet and reorganize.

That is a queen sized bed. The picture shows all my WIPs (works in progress). The only active ones are the very top right corner - I am piecing together my Beekeeper's Quilt, and the bottom left corner, I'm working on a black and purple hat. 

Same bed. Top left is my silk blends, top right is all my cotton yarn. Middle left is my "too special to know what to make it into", middle right is my handspun yarn I made on my drop spindle. Bottom left is acrylic, tiny pile on bottom/middle row is my bulky wool, and finally bottom right is my worsted wool.

Final photo is my fingering weight yarn and in the boxes you can see yarn set aside for projects I want to tackle with that specific yarn and pattern.

I didn't take a picture of my inherited SABLE (stash acquired beyond life expectancy) or my spinning fiber, as I haven't added to them or used out of them in more than one year's time.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015


I have had nothing to say in over a month.


It's Holy Week and I am feeling neither holy nor hopeful. The depression has been heavy like an anvil. I haven't wanted to take care of myself. I haven't wanted to reach out and communicate. I've just hidden away. Every now and then I poked my head out and posted on Facebook, but I'm so down that the tiniest comments in the negative cause bouts of crying.

I bought a new rose bush. It's supposed to be very dark roses. It's called "black rose", but even I can see it's a dark red. 

I got new gnomes.

I turned 29 and Charlie turned 2.

I'm still alive.