Another day another dollar.

"Momma! Wake up! It's morning and I brought you a sock!"

"I'm a good boy. I wake you up so we can play!"

"....you're not supposed to say 'good morning, baby!' and then stay in bed."

It's been a real cold few days! Nothing like up north or the Midwest, but still. Very cold. Poor Charlie has to wear one of my old night shirts when he goes outside so he doesn't shiver so hard.

We went to our friends' house and he got to meet Cletus and Ellie Mae. Cletus is a weimeriner mix and Ellie Mae is a pit bull. He had SO much fun with them, but it really made me take a second look, because in my mind Cletus was the same size as Charlie and in reality Charlie's head is twice the size, and he's an inch taller than him.

I was really disappointed that Charlie thought it was appreciate to pee on the table leg and amp speaker. So embarrassed too. He's been so well behaved indoors that it was shocking, and then that feeling was compounded with guilt because we hadn't visited with our friends for a few months and our new dog decides to unleash waves of mellow yellow. ::le sigh::

...my medication is still not being tolerated by my system. I read online if you're throwing up and having muscle spasms or twitching to call your doctor, so I did, and called the pharmacist as well. After 8 hours of throwing up, missing work, sleeping too much and back and forth with the doctor, they all decided it's psychosomatic and I must keep taking the generic. Let's unjust say I want to punch them all in the face, or make them feel how I'm feeling. To be completely honest, it takes all the starch out of me when people don't believe my truth of what I'm facing.

  I'm tired of fighting a nameless, faceless chronic illness. I'm constantly pushing myself at 100+% and can only achieve a maximum of a normal person's 56%. It's depressing. I'm tired of fighting so hard.

Today a coworker said "I don't know why you're not on disability. You should take that government money and stay home or travel!"

I have no energy to explain or confront. I wish I could hibernate for a little while.

My family has been really supportive, for which I can only thank them. 

I'm just feeling adrift. I'm glad I have Charlie and my kitties. They bring pure joy, and don't judge me for my illnesses or choices - something I wish I could cut myself slack for, but never seem to be able to do.